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#Huangry: Vic's Pizza

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There’s a saying about pizza and sex: Even when it’s bad, it’s still pretty good. When it comes to sex, no comment. But as far as pizza goes, I wholeheartedly concur.

It’s true: I’ve never had a bad pizza. Five-dollar Little Caesars? Self-assembled Lunchables? Day-old Papa John’s straight from the fridge? Late night pizza bagel drunkenly assembled from ketchup and Kraft singles? Just give me all of that hot (or cold) tomato-cheese-carb lovin’.

Of course, my indiscriminate acceptance of anything loosely resembling a pizza also makes me unqualified to render judgment: It’s all just so good.

When faced with this scenario, I’d normally head to Google – as is the custom of all barely functional millennials – and ask for additional opinions. Unfortunately, the Internet can’t taste a pizza for me and form a verdict.

Luckily, I can rely on living, breathing humans for opinions – pizza is better enjoyed with company, anyway. I enlisted a couple of friends: Mary Cathryn, a writer, former food service professional and self-ascribed pizza queen; and Will, a photographer with all-round good taste and a massive appetite.

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We meet at Vic’s in downtown Greenville. It’s a little New York-style pizza joint with faux-wood laminate tables (the kind you’d find in a school cafeteria from the early ’90s), well-used ovens on full display, geographically misleading signage that says “Brooklyn, SC,” and a guy named Kevin who has over a decade of experience making pizza in New York. It feels a little grimy – I think they call that “character” – but the tables are clean and the service is quick.

We order a 20-inch pie – half-Margherita, half-Spicy Sausage – to share. On the Margherita side: a thick layer of mozzarella, tomatoes, and fresh, hand-torn basil. On the Spicy Sausage side: a healthy sprinkling of chopped peppers (a 60-40 cayenne-to-habanero ratio, Kevin tells me), red onions, and Italian sausage. Underpinning it all: a thin crust, crisp on the edges, but with a little bit of chew once you get to the topping-covered center. The slices are massive (40 square inches each, for those keeping score), floppy and hot.

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I think the Spicy Sausage is delicious: not too spicy, and you don’t get that rank onion odor after eating a few slices. The Margherita is a bit bland for my taste, but the comparison is probably unfair so close on the heels of the Spicy Sausage. The crust has great presence, and it doesn’t leave me feeling bloated with regret.

Mary Cathryn’s verdict: “Very balanced blend of toppings, cheese and dough, and I am always excited to fold my slices in half.” Will concurs for the most part: “I liked the dough. Liked the spice levels. Cheese is meh. The basil was nice, but I wanted more.”

It’s hard to get much more out of them – not for lack of things to say, but because it’s a challenge (not to mention rude) to talk when your mouth is stuffed full of pizza. Which, when you think about it, is really all you need to know about Vic’s: The slices are too good to waste time talking.


(+) PROS 

  • Big, floppy slices.
  • Nice distribution of toppings—not barren, not overloaded. 
  • An honest-to-God New Yorker makes these pizzas.
  • Time for some pizza math: $25 gets you 2.18 square feet of pie, which means at $11.46 per square foot, it’s the cheapest (and least likely to disappoint) real estate investment you can make.

(-) CONS

  • Haaa! Tricked ya. It’s pizza. There are no cons.

VIC'S PIZZA
12 E. Coffee St., Greenville, SC
232-9191, vicspizza4u.com
20-inch pizza: $25


Originally published in the [Greenville Journal] on January 22, 2016.

FoodAndrew Huangfood, huangry, pizza